I decided to go to college in a state up North which was very far away from my childhood home.
I was ready for a big change after my sister passed away.
Life simply didn’t feel the same. I enjoyed the different environment when I went to college and quickly adapted to the pace of my school schedule. I sort of felt like life halted when the housing department announced they were installing new heating units in the dorm rooms. It was beginning to snow and the heating installations were going to take roughly two days to be done. They didn’t make any arrangements for us to have anywhere to go while they were installing the new heaters, so I ended up staying with a new friend that lived on the opposite side of campus. Her dorm room had an amazing heater and it felt really cozy. I was so mesmerized by the change of scenery and heater that I honestly felt like I was in a trance for two days. By the time I returned to my dorm room and the new heater they installed, nothing really felt the same. I felt like everything was stale, and the new heater didn’t even work that well. I stood in the middle of my dorm staring at this heater to figure out how I was feeling. I realized that my friend’s room really reminded me of my sister, and found myself in a deep sorrow mourning over her loss. There’s a chance that I didn’t process her death as well as I could have, so I guess grief was knocking on the door in a mysterious way.